New Year's Resolutions Facebook status ideas

Daniel will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Simon will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Craig will take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Kimberley will think of a password other than "password"
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Shaun will assure his lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Simon I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Callum will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Joe will only pay for sex if the price seems really, really reasonable
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Celia will stop tagging pictures of herself in pictures even when she's not in them
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Chris will stop using Facebook as the primary communication method with his wife & kids
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Ben will do less laundry and use more deodorant
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Celia will stop replying to funny jokes she hears by saying, "L.O.L ... L.O.L"
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Bernie will work with neglected children. (my own)
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions

Katie will stop using the following phrase at work, "Deal..." (dramatic pause) "Or No Deal..."
1 year ago under New Year's Resolutions