Funny/ Witty Facebook status ideas

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Alex has just made the internet eight words longer
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Kimberley statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty

Joe people who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
David do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Alex statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Shaun my girlfriend said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
James people reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid)
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Katie whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
David says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Kimberley dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Laura feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Anna started out with nothing and still has most of it left
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Daniel is the reason Waldo is hiding
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Tom is a ninja =.=
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty
Callum is a cross dresser. Deciding what to wear can get me angry
29 days ago under Funny/ Witty