Funny/ Witty Facebook status ideas

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Alex pleads that you don't treat me any differently than you would the King
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Alex says don't read everything you believe
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Joe reminds you to not play stupid with me! I'm better at it
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Shaun wonders if illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Lauren wonders if you heard about the corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Bernie works for the department of redundant departments
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
James is starting to think that today is the tomorrow he worried about yesterday
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Ben has calculated that three out of four Facebook contacts make up 75% of his friends list
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Kimberley has seen it all, done it all, and can't remember most of it
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Harry last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "Where is the ceiling?!"
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty
Jade thinks it has been a business doing pleasure with you
3 years ago under Funny/ Witty